This from yesterday’s Daily Stoic newsletter.
I’m quoting it wholly, because short though it may be; it packs such a powerful punch.
Your Uber driver is delayed and you want a credit for the inconvenience. Your house is damaged in a storm and you want your insurance to pay for every penny of the repairs. Someone says something pointed and personal at you, and you want them not only to apologize, but to convince you that they never meant it in the first place.
In short, you want to be made whole. And in our service economy—where the customer is always right—you often can be. Complain to Uber HQ or Amazon, complain on social media, call a lawyer. Maybe it will work. They might even compensate you for your troubles and you’ll come out ahead.
The problem is that when it comes to life, this is a very bad precedent.
Because shit happens, and Fate does not have a customer service department.
If we expect the universe (or God) to make us whole every time, we will be sorely disappointed.
The key then is to focus on not feeling like we’ve been harmed in the first place.
“Choose not to be harmed — and you won't feel harmed.
Don't feel harmed — and you haven't been.”
Have you really been hurt by the fact that you’re a few minutes late? Even after paying for storm repairs, are you not financially ahead of the vast majority of the planet? Did someone else’s words really cause true damage? And on and on.
The answer is no.
To the Stoic, there is no expectation of being made whole, because the Stoic strives to reject the idea of a loss having been incurred in the first place.
You should check them out.
And to the folks at The Daily Stoic, you have my undying gratitude for such a wonderful project :)